Tag: motherhood

Healing from incontinence

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Urinary incontinence is common in pregnancy and is reported by about 60 percent of women. For these women, the severity of their condition can increase during the course of their pregnancy, especially peaking in the second and third trimesters. Of these women who experience incontinence in pregnancy, 70 percent go on to resolve the condition postpartum – and within the first year, the prevalence of incontinence drops down to 11 to 23 percent. Dr Bongi Makhubo, obstetrician gynaecologist from Life Anncron in Klerksdorp sheds more light on the topic. 

Early incontinence is normal

Pregnancy can affect the normal way your urethra relaxes and contracts and many women, particularly those who had a vaginal birth, can experience incontinence after childbirth. “The pubic and pelvic muscles and the anal sphincter can be injured in up to 40-80% of births and so, leaking a little bit after birthing your baby vaginally is quite within the normal range, but it is not normal if it lasts for months afterwards,” says Dr Makhubo. “Directly after birth, using a thick maternity pad helps to absorb the leaks, but once you have stopped bleeding and incontinence persists, you might need a specialist appointment to discuss the problem further.” 

Stress incontinence is also quite common in new mothers and affects roughly a third of women in the first year after birth. Stress incontinence leaks happen when the mother laughs, coughs, sneezes or goes for a run. Lifting heavy things can also cause these leaks,  which are due to increased intra-abdominal pressure and a defective urethral support or closure.

<FACT BOX>What causes incontinence after birth? Dr Makhubo shares the facts: 

  • Weakening of the pelvic floor muscles or injury to the nerves supplying the structures of the pelvic floor, due to a prolonged or difficult labour. 
  • Carrying a bigger than normal baby in utero, leading to difficulty in delivering or stretching and compression of the pelvic floor.
  • High levels of elastin, a hormone which allows for more stretching of the skin and connective tissue, can cause prolapse and in turn, incontinence (as opposed to collagen, which is decreased during pregnancy).  
  • Assisted delivery, especially with the use of forceps. Research shows that there is less injury and urinary incontinence noted with the use of ventouse in comparison. 
  • Maternal age; the higher the age the higher the association with urinary incontinence.
  • Parity; incontinence is more common with parous women, however of note is that the highest risk of incontinence is with the first delivery, then 10% risk increase with each subsequent birth.
  • Vaginal delivery definitely predisposes women to a higher risk of incontinence and most women will be incontinent for a few weeks; however most will be normal within a year.

What can help?

“Pelvic floor muscle training or kegels exercise are by far the best way to combat the problem postpartum, although the research differs as to how much of the exercises should be done. However, these can be done anywhere, and one way to remember to do them is to pick an anchor which will remind you to do them. For example, when stopping at a robot or boiling the kettle: each time you do one of these activities, do some pelvic floor exercises too,” says Dr Makhubo. 

She suggests that physiotherapy can also help in some cases. “A physiotherapist will give you cones or a pessary that can be used to squeeze and strengthen the pelvic floor muscle.” Dr Makhubo also encourages lifestyle modifications, such as drinking less coffee and alcolhol and stopping smoking. Decreasing BMI can also help improve incontinence issues. “If lifestyle modifications have been made and incontinence persists, then medical treatments can be offered,” she says. “The last resort is surgery.”

Medical treatment and surgical options

  • Medication:
    • Estrogen creams, duloxetene and even botox can help to alleviate incontinence. 
  • Medical devices:
    • A vaginal pessary, which can be used for prolapses. It is a ring-like device and acts as a support for the bladder. A disposable urethral insert may also be prescribed and serves as a leakage barrier. 
  • Bulking agents:
    • Bulking agents are injected into the urethra to help plump up the tissues where urine is released from the bladder and help to hold it in. 
  • Surgery: The underlying principle of surgery is to support the urethra, so that the bladder can work effectively. 
    • “Retropubic urethropexy ( Burch’s Colposuspension ) is used most common surgery for this condition. It is an abdominal procedure, where the pubocervical fascia is attached to a copper ligament or to the pubic symphysis (pelvic bone),” explains Dr Makhubo. “This helps lift the anterior vaginal wall and tissues surrounding the urethra and bladder, which helps to alleviate incontinence. 
    • Slings: There are various kinds of slings and they are all made of mesh. The use of mesh has been approved by the FDA and the South African Urogynaecology Society endorses and supports the use of this method for incontinence. A ‘hammock’ is created using mesh and tissue to support your urethra and can be done under local anaethesia.
      • Pubovaginal slings, mid-urethral slings, mini-slings and micro-slings are used as a means to help incontinence, but implanting mesh where it is needed, in and around the urethra. These range from being quite invasive to non-invasive. Your care provider will help you decide on the best approach for you. 

The basics of car-seat safety

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In 1769, the first steam-powered car was invented, with subsequent improvements as better automobiles were built throughout the years. It took almost 200 years later for the first safety belt to be invented by the mid 19th century. It was only in 1966 that an Act was enforced, requiring all vehicles to comply with certain safety standards. In 2015, the South African National Road Traffic Act enforced the regulation that all infants (0-3 years) be restrained appropriately when travelling in cars. By Charlene Yared West. 

The danger of being unrestrained in cars

According to the World Health Organisation, children who are not restrained during a car crash can either be thrown against the interior of the vehicle or be ejected from the vehicle. The use of seatbelt and child restraints is the most effective action of preventing the severity of injuries during a car crash. Chances of survival increase drastically when restrained appropriately. The World Report on Road Traffic Injury Prevention states that the use of child restraints in vehicles reduces infant deaths by about 71%. A study conducted in Sweden showed that about 50% of fatally injured children aged up to 3-years had been involved in side impact collision. 

What car seats are age appropriate?

The main determining factor for choice of an appropriate car seat is the child’s weight. Older children who are above the height and weight specifications for using car seats require a properly fitting three-point lap and diagonal seat-belt when riding in a vehicle. A review of various studies has shown that child safety seats that are correctly installed and used for children aged 0-4 years can reduce the need for hospitalisation by 69%. The risk of death for infants is reduced by 70%, and that for children aged 1–4 years by 47–54%.

(Table extracted from the American Academy of Pediatrics http://www.healthychildren.org) 

Protecting vulnerable travellers

The skulls of infants are far more malleable before 24 months and so they need less force to sustain a brain injury, explains Anna Bizos, physiotherapist at Life New Kensington Clinic. “Travelling at a speed of 60km/h can inflict horrendous injury on the unrestrained child. The acceleration is too great – and it has been shown that an adult holding a child in the backseat, will not be able to hold onto them at the moment of impact, but will release their grip, which means the child will be flung around the car or be ejected from the vehicle. The airbags, if deployed, can also cause suffocation for the child on the adult’s lap,” she says. The bottom line is, children cannot be unrestrained in cars! Parents must be consistent and model good car safety habits – for everyone in the car, every time, even if there are tantrums.” CEO of the QuadPara Association of South Africa, Ari Seirlis agrees; “The consequences of a spinal cord injury especially for children and young people, are too dire to contemplate,” he says. “QASA promotes that seat belts are essential to use in a vehicle and our road safety programme has the slogan buckle up, we don’t want new members.”

Rehabilitation Paediatric Programme at Life Hospitals

Life Healthcare’s Rehabilitation paediatric programmes are focused on providing holistic, interdisciplinary individually targeted interventions that are developed for each child, based on a variety of standardised and internationally recognised assessments, says Nomsa Mbuyisa, Nurse Manager at Life New Kensington Clinic. “We hold interdisciplinary team meetings weekly to assess the child’s progress and, based on this, whether any adaptations should be made to the programme.”

<Sidebar> Sister Mbuyisa shares her top car safety tips for infants

  • Everyone in the car must always buckle up! 
  • Always check that the car seat is correctly installed. 
  • Ensure that the child is in the correct age car seat. Infants need to stay in a rear facing seat in the back seat, making sure to install the seat at a 45-degree angle to help support the baby’s head and back.
  • Make sure your car seat works in the type of car that you have. Not every child safety seat is compatible with every car.
  • Replace the car seat after a crash. Even a minor accident can compromise the structure of the seat. Avoid buying used car seats since you don’t know its history.
  • Never leave a child alone in the car as they can overheat quickly when it’s warm. 
  • Never share a seat belt. Do not use one seat belt to buckle two kids.
  • Ride in the backseat. Children who are younger than the age of 12 should always ride in the backseat. In an accident, the airbag can injure a small child. 
  • Stay calm. Teach kids to be quiet and calm in the car. They must not jump around, yell or  

scream in the car as this can distract the driver. This can put everyone in the  car at risk.

In the unfortunate event of a car accident, the Road Accident Fund is able to assist with medical expenses, loss of support, funeral benefit and general damages for pain and suffering. To lodge a claim, claimants can contact the Call Centre on 0860 23 55 23. 

‘Surrogacy gave us the gift of twins’

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Tasha and Wayne McKenzie wanted a baby even before they said their vows on their wedding day. After four years of trying to fall pregnant naturally and after six unsuccessful rounds of IVF, their friend Lee-Ann Laufs said she would be their surrogate. Charlene Yared West sat down with Tasha, Wayne and Lee-Ann to learn more about their surrogacy journey. 

Surrogacy chose us

Wayne and Tasha felt that they had exhausted all their options to have a baby, save the adoption route. Their friend, Lee-Ann Laufs worked closely with with a safe house for abused and abandoned children called Miracle Kids in Cape Town. “I emailed her to get the details and she called me back saying that she had been telling my wife Tash for months that she would be our surrogate – and that she really meant it. I was blown away by what she said and wanted to laugh and cry simultaneously. I knew this could finally be it… We could have our baby!” 

Tasha recalls how she got to know Lee-Ann in her beauty salon; “When she came for treatments, we got to know each other and would start chatting about where I was in fertility treatment. She always mentioned wanting to be our surrogate, but sometimes people say things they don’t really mean and I wasn’t sure if this was one of those times, so I left it at that. She gave birth to her second son and after the caesarean messaged me from the hospital saying she would do this for us. She told us to be patient and wait a little while longer until she had healed and was ready to be pregnant again. We left it at that and I still didn’t believe her!” 

It was only after Lee-Ann and Wayne had spoken that the offer of surrogacy became real to Tasha. “Unless you have been through the process, you will never know the heartache of infertility and I was terrified to allow someone else to carry my baby.” adds Tasha. “It was the best news to hear that both eggs survived and we were expecting twins. Prof Thinus Kruger from the Aevitas Clinic dealt with the embryo transfer and making us pregnant.”

Lee-Ann recalls how during the pregnancy, Wayne started calling her “Smeg”, which was a code word for oven. “That was exactly how I viewed the pregnancy; I was an oven for their babies. Simply put; their sperm and eggs, my uterus. The babies don’t receive anything from the surrogate mom except food and a warm comfy womb.This is known as gestational surrogacy,” explains Lee-Ann. “There were no feelings afterwards of ‘I wish they were mine.’ The joy it gives others is so worth it and helps erase all the heartache they went through to finally have their babies.”

The medical side

“The surrogate and the commissioning mother need to sync their monthly cycle,” says Professor Thinus Kruger from Aevitas Fertility Clinic in Cape Town. “Hormone injections are administered to the surrogate to stop her from ovulating at this time. Her uterine lining also needs to be a certain thickness so that the embryo can be transferred into the lining to grow.” He explains how the commissioning mother’s eggs are stimulated to get as many as possible and are then grown until they are mature enough to be harvested and then fertilized by sperm from the father. “The laboratory scientist selected eight eggs based on quality and and then fertilized those. They are then grown and allowed to undergo cell-division outside of the body between three and five days. Not all the eggs will go through these stages of cell division and then another selection process takes place where only two embryos are transferred into the surrogate’s uterus at this time. After the transfer, there is a waiting period of ten days before seeing if the pregnancy is viable.” Prof Kruger explains that there are variations to this process and it is not successful at every stage.

Gynaecologist and obstetrician Dr Gary Groenewald was chosen by Lee-Ann to continue his care as her primary caregiver. “Lee-Ann is an extremely giving person and to do this for friends – to undergo pregnancy and surgery via caesarean section – is a major sacrifice. It really takes a special, very generous person to do this for someone else,” he says.

Since the McKenzies’ case, Life Healthcare developed a very practical and sensitive protocol to deal with future surrogacy cases. Wayne shared how special the caesarean was at Life Kingsbury and that he and Tasha were allowed to be there as well as Lee-Ann’s husband, Shaun. “It was the best day of our lives and we are forever grateful to Lee-Ann for what she did for us. We are adjusting to life with our baby girls, Lea and Madi and being parents,” says Tasha. “It has been an amazing journey and all the pain and disappointment of infertility is slowly fading, but it still feels like a dream sometimes… but then I see my daughters and I am so proud and happier than I could ever have imagined possible.” 

Surrogacy Quick Facts 

  • According to Surrogacy.co.za, women who want to be a surrogate need to have had experienced pregnancy and birth and have at least one living child of their own. 
  • A surrogate also needs to be in good physical, emotional and mental health. A thorough medical and psychological examination is carried out to ascertain suitability of the surrogate and the parents. 
  • Since 2010, new laws about surrogacy were passed and women wanting to be surrogates may no longer gain financially from the process. However, all medical bills for the pregnancy must be footed by the commissioning parents. You may only be a surrogate for altruistic reasons. 
  • Commissioning parents opt for surrogacy because they are unable to conceive their own child via fertility treatment or otherwise. Many gay couples who want a child of their own often look for a surrogate to help them achieve this. 
  • As a surrogate you have no rights to the child after birth. 
  • A contract is drawn up with the Surrogate Lawyer so that your surrogate does not run away with your unborn child. In the contract it also states how many IVF processes the surrogate is willing to do and how many IVF processes the parents to be are able to afford before cancelling the contract. 
  • Check out www.surrogacy.co.za for more info. 

Ruwarashe’s Birth Story

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Ruwa was nervous at our first meeting. Soft-spoken, she asked about my role as a doula for her birth. I walked with her in pregnancy and birth and when she went into labour, I met her at the hospital. Her birth changed everything. She was shown how powerful her birthing body was and that she could do anything. Here is her story of the birth of her son…

My name is Ruwarashe and I am 21-years-old and I come from Zimbabwe. I’m currently studying at UCT. I became pregnant in September 2018. Pregnancy was going to be a hard journey for me, as I didn’t understand anything about birth and even worse, I was a long way from home where I had friends and family to guide and support me. In Cape Town, I have little support. So many people recommended I get a doula, especially since I felt quite isolated in Cape Town without my family near. 

Choosing a doula for me was so important, because I needed someone compassionate and soft and when I went onto Charlene’s website, I knew she was the doula who would understand my fear and confusion of becoming a mother. ( I hadn’t even met her in person yet, but I just knew.) 

I remember I wasn’t sure if I was going to have anyone close to me at my birth, because my family and fiancé stayed so far away… And I had so many fears of becoming a new Student  mom. Charlene reminded me that she was going to be there for me – and that I would be ok, no matter what turn it took. She said this at our first meeting.

Charlene engaged with me every week reminding me to trust the process of the journey I was on, offering me her kind support along the way. I was at school from 8am to 5pm everyday and I was at school until I was 9 months pregnant.

She also made sure we were able to meet close by to where I lived, as I did not have a car. She did this without hesitation – and it was so kind of her. When I felt low, I would message her and we would chat and she would encourage me to keep my faith and to be strong. 
I think what especially helped were the Relax Into Birth visualisation tracks. Listening to them regularly helped me realise that birth wasn’t just an event, it was a process – a beautiful process… Finally I was learning to trust the process – and trusting myself to do it! I felt strong enough to birth my baby boy. The strength seemed to come from within me. A deep knowing. 

The Relax Into Birth classes made me realise I wasn’t just doing a duty a woman is required to do; no! My body was giving life to a soul, another human being. Although it was about birth, it also somehow helped me establish what type of mom I was going to be to my little boy. 

When I finally went into labour, the emotional support for me and my fiancé was tremendous! She always made sure I was as comfortable as I could be in those circumstances. When it was time for me to deliver, I remember I was very tired – and our doula Charlene never once wavered, always trying ways to help energise me and encourage me to bring my son down to earth.

During my visits to the doctor, I was told we had to schedule an induction, because they didn’t want me going over my due date, which was the 26th of May. I wasn’t so sure I wanted an induction considering the potential complications. It was really not what I wanted.

In my 39th week, I went for cervix check to prepare for my induction. I was notified that soon I was going to be in labour – and that it was likely I would not need an induction. On Thursday 23 May, my waters broke as I was going to bed. I remember I kept my calm. I took an Uber with my fiance who had arrived from Zimbabwe, even though my contractions hadn’t kicked in properly yet. I didn’t want to stay at home after that because I didn’t want to be under pressure to rush to the hospital when it became necessary. I didn’t want something dramatic! Charlene did join us at the hospital when my contractions got regular and intense. She was there the whole time and I held onto her. She created such a calming environment in such a tense situation. I remember I had moved 1 cm in 4 hours and all I wanted was an epidural. I asked the nurses for an epidural, but was refused by them, saying it was too early to administer. In the face of that, my doula encouraged me to keep going and to stay strong as I was birthing my angel.

We used other forms of natural pain relief. We used the shower and we counted together and breathed together and finally at 7 am they decided to insert a dose of prostaglandin gel to help my cervix open. Once that was given to me, five minutes later I was standing to go poo in the toilet and another five minutes later I was walking myself to the tub in the delivery room. During that walk I definitely felt my baby was coming! I got into the tub for a few minutes and notified both my fiancé and Charlene that the baby was indeed coming.

The delivery room not prepared by the hospital staff (as they didn’t expect me to push so soon), they quickly put me on the bed, and there was my baby crowning! They quickly set up the room as I involuntarily pushed him out. A few pushes and I had birthed my baby.

My birth taught me to trust my body and trust my baby. I have never felt as strong or as empowered as I did in those first days. I was blessed to have such a positive, empowered birthing.

Tamlyn’s Birth Story

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What a pleasure to be Tamlyn’s birth doula. From the moment I met her quite early in her pregnancy, she embodied a certain positivity and exuded a confidence I rarely saw in a first time pregnant mama. She shares her story of trusting the process for her home birth.

I’m a new Mamma, my baby boy Charlie is 4 months old. I’m just starting to emerge from my cocoon of love and bonding, embracing a new way of being and living, finding balance between motherhood and my purpose of serving you. What an incredible journey I’ve been on, from the start of my pregnancy to today, it’s been life changing on so many levels and I am looking forward to sharing it with you. 

It all started on the 8th of March at 2.30am when I woke up to a pop, and my waters releasing. I couldn’t believe it was the start of the journey to meet my baby boy. I wanted a natural, intervention free home birth, I was excited and had no idea how things would unfold but had a deep trust that things would happen as they should, a trust and surrendering I’d spent several months cultivating during my pregnancy.  

I spent the months leading to my baby’s birth doing the work to birth a new part of myself, a mother. I meditated, visualised, went to healers, coaches and massage therapists, did family constellations work, hypnobirthing, re-created my own birth, did inner child work, went on yoga retreats, painted, walked, prayed and wrote every day. I learned so much. (I have many pregnancy and birth related resources if anyone would like them, please just reply and ask. )

I knew that my pregnancy and birth would have a deep impact on me and my baby and I wanted to go as natural as possible.  I had many fears and doubts and whenever they would show up, I would go within and do the work to release them. I’d remind myself to pray for the highest good for all, to let go of control and to remain open to what life would present. 

The work for me here was about letting go of the outcome, of control, and also not putting it in the hands of someone else, but to lean in, trust myself, my body, my baby and nature. This was a pattern I’d been playing on repeat most of my life, forever trying to control the outcome of situations or just putting my head in the sand and letting someone else take over. This was my biggest test yet. This time I really wanted to be intentionally conscious of what I wanted to co-create and at the same time know that whatever the outcome, to remain open to what life was offering. 

For this reason, I chose my midwives and Charlene Yared-West from Relax Into Birth as my Doula. The moment I met with them, it felt right, very natural and mother and baby-led. I met Charlene at the The Birth Hub Antenatal classes and just loved her segment and felt so comfortable with her. I would highly recommend Charlene as a Doula, I couldn’t have done it without her. Throughout my pregnancy I formed such a beautiful bond with them all and I felt so safe and held with them as my birth team. 

So, back to my birth story…

After my waters released, I had very mild intermittent rushes which were not painful at all so I tried to sleep and in the morning I let my midwives know that things could be happening soon. I spent the day painting, watching funny shows and walking in nature to ground myself. I let go of trying to predict what was happening and allowed myself to fold into the experience.  I remember thinking to myself, this is easy, I’ve got this. The mild rushes continued on throughout the day and evening and at 10pm that night I told my midwives things were still the same and would get in touch in the morning. As I snuggled up to go to sleep, a strong surge rushed through my body, so strong I had to get on my knees. 

A few minutes later, another, I knew it was time. I told Matt to let my midwives and doula that things were progressing. I moved to my birth room where we’d set up the birth pool, affirmations, playlist and positive imagery. I knew now was the time to get out of the way, to let go and let my body and my baby do the work. I instinctively knelt on the floor in the corner of the room on my knees, my upper body resting on my ball. I focused on spiralling my hips and moving back and forth to help the baby move down. The room was dark and quiet and all I could hear was the beautiful kundalini music from my birth playlist which helped me go within. 

The surges were coming in heavier and faster now and I was struggling to breathe through them.  It was so intense so quickly. (My midwives later told me, I must have had a very good production of Oxytocin as things progressed very quickly in my active labour.) I was beginning to get more and more vocal, my groans and primal sounds getting louder and louder. Matt was sitting with me encouraging me gently, holding my hand which I was using to bear down on with each rush. At about midnight my Doula, Charlene arrived, I was so grateful to see her. By then I didn’t want to speak and was so focused on the surges. She knew exactly what to do to support me. I held her hand she began massaging my lower back which felt so good.  

In the meantime, Matt was preparing the birth pool. After a few hours of intense surges, I asked Charlene when she thought I would have my baby, she said soon soon, before the morning which encouraged me. I asked to move into the pool as the rushes were starting to feel unbearable. The moment I slid into the water it was a beautiful relief. It was so warm and took a lot of pressure off my back. However, when the next rush came, I’d forgotten all about the lovely water and roared through the rush. Nature had chosen wild and windy night for my birth which matched exactly what I was going through. 

I spent the rest of my labour in the birth pool, on my knees spiralling back and forth while resting my head on the edge of the pool. For each surge I needed to hold someone’s hand, I needed something to push down on, something strong.  My doula and Matt stayed by my side for most of my labour alternating for breaks. Giving me water, apple juice and honey to keep up my strength.  Charlene let the midwives know when they needed to come and they arrived around 2am, a few hours before my birth. I was hoping they could tell me how close. I asked my midwife, how much longer, and she said ‘’let’s wait and see’’, this was not what I wanted to hear. I wanted her to say any minute now.  I had chosen my midwives because they were very trusting in natural birth and in my body to birth my baby, with as little interference as possible however in that moment I wanted answers, my mind wanted to know the outcome, how much longer…! I knew they were doing exactly what they needed to do. I went within and let go.

I had no physical checks during my labour, my midwives spent most of my labour in the other room listening to my labour and doing the occasional listen to my baby’s heart rate which remained steady throughout.  My dog Zesa popped into the room a few times wondering what all the noise was about which made me smile to know he was there for me too. 

As time went on, I was getting more tired, I really needed him to be close now. My doula Charlene asked Matt what his name was, Matt said we hadn’t decided yet (which we had but he didn’t want to say). She said, if you knew his name you could call him and encourage him out. When I heard that I shouted CHARLIEEEEEE, and they both started laughing, I guess we knew the name after all. I started talking to him, encouraging him, telling him how much he was loved and wanted and that it wasn’t long now. That really helped me. It gave me a new boost of will power and determination. It was like I knew his birth was near. What also helped me was Charlene reminding me to relax and let go of each surge, this really helped me rest in between without tension. She would say one down, one less to go.  I could feel he was close now, I muscled up every bit of inner strength I had and focused intently on allowing the birth energy to move through me. I connected with the galaxies and imagined that energy spiralling through me, I knew I didn’t have to do anything, I just need to let go and allow. I looked up at my affirmations and read ‘’I feel the strength of all woman’’. I knew if millions of women had done this before me then so could I.  I had no idea who was in the room, and what was happening behind me, I was one with my body and baby. 

In my pregnancy I had also done a lot of work listening to Charlene’s Relax into Birth Tracks. In the labour I could hear her voice, saying those calming words over and over again, ‘’relax….open….peace…’’, reminding me to breath ‘’down and out’’.

The next rush brought a new sensation, an excruciating stinging and burning which was incredibly intense. I had read about this in many birth stories but experiencing it was a whole new story. I moaned to Charlene, ‘’IT’S STINGING’’. I remember the song playing at that exact time, ‘’The Power Is Here Now, By Alexia Chellun. 

The words to this song were divine timing…

The power of love is here now 
The power of now is here now 
The power of you and me is here 
To create magic on earth 
Let the water wash away your tears 
Let the fire burn away your fears 
Let the wind blow into your life such faith and trust 
Let the earth hold you, take care of you and nurture you

This song gave me the strength to get through the final few rushes. I didn’t need to be coached or told what to do. I just listened to my body and my baby. The body truly is built to show you how to birth your baby if you trust it and let it show you the way. Just like in life, you are always being guided, are you listening to that inner guidance.

Finally, after an intense surge, and a crazy burning and stinging sensations, my baby’s head came out, and immediate relief came flooding through me, this was it. I then had to stand up and get out of the birth pool and and gave one almighty push and Charlie was born at 4.25am on Monday 9th March weighing 3.92kgs. He slid out into my midwife’s arms. I remember her saying, hello baby, hello baby and rubbing his chest. Charlie was born to the song, Grace of God by Gurunam Singh. It was a special synchronicity that out of my entire playlist Charlie was born to two of my favourite songs and that they came on in the perfect time when I needed them most.

My midwife Lana and Doula Charlene helped me to lay back on the bed and passed my little baby Charlie to me. Matt was by my side through it all. I was completely exhausted and overcome with relief that it was over, and awe that my little man, baby G was finally here. Tears welled in my eyes as held him skin to skin and spoke softly to him. I had done it, we had done it, I had given birth just as I had intended to, at home, naturally, surrounded by love and all was well. 

The next few hours were pure bliss. Charlie never left my chest and Matt and I cuddled up in bed and just gazed at him and studied his tiny body. My midwives and doula were incredible, they made our morning even more special. They tidied up around us, brought us tea and left us to bond for a few hours until everyone had had some rest. A few hours later my midwives did all his checks while he lay on Matts chest. I cut the cord and saved my placenta to bury one special day. The next few days were just as incredible getting to know this little soul. He was feeding well, sleeping well and I was in good hands with my midwives coming back every day to check up on us. It couldn’t have been a better first week. I felt so grateful to be a mum and was loving every moment of it. Charlene also came back the week after and gave me the most beautiful foot massage, I felt so taken care of. 

Although my birth was pretty close to my dream birth. It wasn’t what I expected. I thought I would breath him out in a blissful meditation.  It was way more painful and intense than I ever expected. I could see how woman in hospital would end up with interventions and pain medication and I was just grateful that I was at home and none of that was available. It was just me and my baby working together. 

My midwives gave me homeopathic remedies including calendula and seaweed to help with the minor stitches. Charlene made me some beautiful bath salts to soak in.  It took me a few weeks to get my energy and strength back, but I am grateful I never had any baby blues or any baby problems. While I was tired, I woke up each day feeling sunshine in my heart so happy to see my little baby. He spent the first week in our bedroom and we didn’t leave home for 40 days. We had minimal visitors, (thanks to Covid-19) and spent our days sleeping, relaxing, singing and getting to know each other. I massaged him daily and he got daily skin to skin and sunshine. We bonded deeply with him and both had the best possible start to our new journey together. 

Charlie is now 4 months and thriving. He’s happy, calm, sleeps and feeds well, we’ve never had any issues. I’m so grateful he was born just before lock down, I’m grateful for the bubble it gave us. Just Charlie, Matt, my mum and me. My mum was supposed to be here 3 weeks and ended up being here 4 months, which again was divine planning. I don’t think we could have asked for a better start.  

I am incredibly grateful to my birth team. My midwives and Lana who joined on the day and my Doula Charlene. I couldn’t have done it without them. The space they held with me throughout my pregnancy, birth and the days and weeks that followed made this the most incredible experience for me. Their encouragement and trusting approach is what gave me the trust and faith to birth my baby and to be the mum I knew I could be. 

I am grateful to Matt for being a non-judgemental support through it all. His help doing everything else allowed me to focus on what I needed to do. We were also so lucky that he got to work from home and still is for this first part of Charlie’s life. 

I am grateful to my mum for the 4 months of being here throughout lockdown, her early morning time with Charlie helped me catch up on my sleep, her cooking, cleaning and care, really helped us thrive during these first few months. 

I am grateful to my baby Charlie, for being the gift of love and grace that he is. Thank you Charlie for choosing us. We love you. 

Thank you for reading my birth story and for joining me on this life-changing journey. A new chapter has begun in my life and I look forward to sharing many more lessons and learnings along the way in the hope that they will too inspire you to live your happiest life.